Panther Football

Finally. My world is about to feel right again.


Fridays are about to be the best day of the week again.

Panther football is back. Saracen is back. Coach Taylor is back. And best of all, my Timmy is back. Oh, how I've missed you.

5 days

What is possibly going to be the best night of my 2008 couldn't really come at a better time. Clearly.


5 days from now I will be taking in my 2nd Coldplay concert. The first one in Vegas was unforgettable and I can only imagine how great this one will be.

Love them. Love Chris Martin. Love the new album.

All that could really make the whole day great is a BYU win over Utah. I'm not holding my breath though.

47 days

There are 47 days until this year is over. I will probably remember 2008 as being one of the worst years of my life. It sad to say, but it couldn't be more true. I've probably cried more this year than the past 5 years combined. And it's not over. I know that there's a chance I will probably cry a good 35 days of the 47 that are left.

Sometimes I wonder why all the things that have happened this year had to happen around the same time. Can't a girl catch a break? Apparently not.

It's funny how people want to understand and be there for you but sometimes there really isn't anything that anyone can do. Sometimes life just sucks. It's basically impossible for anyone to ACTUALLY understand what it is that you are going through. They could think they understand because they had a similar situation but so what? There are so many factors that play into one's life that there is no way for anyone to really understand. And that sucks. You wish that someone could really empathize with you because then it might be a little easier but unfortunately, it's just you.

It's gotten to the point where I don't care what people think about the way I react to anything. They actually don't know anything about what is going on in my head or my life. They can think that I'm overreacting that I'm being dramatic, but that's where they are at fault. Even if they were my very best friend and were literally with me 24/7, they still wouldn't understand. Because it's not their life. If they think I am handling things the wrong way, I'd like to see them be me for one day.

No, I'm going to continue being me. I'm going to continue to have breakdowns and just cry because that is what I need to do. My pillow is going to have mascara stains from crying my eyes out and I'm going to continue to wake up with migraines and swollen eyes from crying myself to sleep. I'm going to be sad because that is all I know how to be right now. Let me have that for 47 more days.

But come January 1, 2009, it's going to be different.

Cross your fingers anyway.


*Sorry about the dramatic post. I just needed to get it out in some way.

Tagged...

Rules:
1.Link who tagged you: Kristine
2. List your quirks
3. Tag 6 other bloggers
4. Post the rules on your blog.

1. I bite my fingernails, all the time. I've done it for as long as I can remember and I can't stop. It's just a bad, ugly habit that I have.

2. I hate waiting for people. I really do. Like if I call you and tell you I'm coming to get you, that means you should probably be ready when I get there. Or at least tell me that you still need a few minutes. Also, if you tell me you're coming at a certain time and don't show up, it irritates me.

3. I get way too into my sports teams. Mostly BYU Football and the Utah Jazz. I get so into it that it makes when they lose hurt that much worse. Like last week when BYU played like CRAP. I'm still not over it and probably won't be for a while. Sometimes I wonder if the heartache my teams cause me is worth it... Yes, it most definitely is.

4. I love watching marathon television. Basically when there's a marathon on of a show that I love, I'll watch it. And this includes the marathons I provide for myself by watching these shows on DVD. Project Runway, Friday Night Lights, CSI, Law and Order, 24, etc. I just love me some good TV.

5. I love Wikipedia. As Michael Scott would say it's "the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." :) I always reference it whenever I want to know anything about anything. I know that sometimes it's not always accurate but I still love to read what's on there.

6. I say that I love scary movies, but I don't think that I actually do. I get really excited to go see them and get really pumped up, but then I basically watch the entire movie with my hands covering my eyes and plugging my ears. Another thing about scary stuff though is that I hate Haunted Houses. I think they're gay and I don't ever get scared at them, so I guess that's kindof weird considering I get pretty scared in movies.

7. I immediately change into comfy clothing when I get home from work/school. I hate wearing jeans all day so as soon as I walk in the door, I start unbuttoning.

8. I listen to music any time I can. I love having my ipod with me so I can throw in my earphones when I get the chance. Or at home I plug it into speakers. This has been a problem since I've recently lost my earphones.

9. I never wash my face. Okay, that's untrue because I wash it when I shower. But I never wash it before bed or anything like that. Unless I shower right before bed, I always go to sleep with my makeup from the day still on. It's never caused me any sort of problems so if you think I'm gross, sorry. But an acne-less face without having to wash it is quite nice. ;)

10. I swear way more than I should. Obviously, I should never swear and I wish I could say that was the case. Some of you know how often it really is but for those of you who don't, lets just say that it's more than never. :)

Okay, I tag Megan, Tawny, Tami(you know you want to blog), Amanda, Mele, and McKensie.

A Rare Update

This will probably just make me sound a little bit pathetic but you know what, at this point I don't care what I sound and/or look like to anyone. I've been ill for a couple days now so I've had a lot of time to think and I've noticed that I've been thinking about my life in Facebook statuses lately. It's been a while since I posted so I thought I'd do some sort of "brain dump" in the form of Facebook statuses...

Currently it says "Tara is going home so that her mom can nurse her back the health."

Here are some others...

Tara doesn't know why her body won't allow her to go to sleep before 2:00 a.m. these days.

Tara is in desperate need of a vacation from everything.

Tara thinks her love for Chris Brown is probably getting a bit unhealthy.

Tara wishes she could go back and do things differently.

Tara is stoked for the Jazz season to start.

Tara is done caring.

Tara thinks that boys are stupid and is going to have to be content without them.

Tara wishes she had more motivation to go to the gym everyday. You'd think looking in the mirror everyday would be enough.

Tara realizes that she has been completely stupid.

Tara is thinking that if she is 25 and going to a party in Provo she gives anyone permission to shoot her.

Tara wishes she could afford to move out of Utah.

Tara wishes she could afford to do anything.

Tara is secretly bitter that the New Kids on the Block comeback was received so well while BSB's wasn't. :)

Tara needs a new job where she doesn't have to talk to idiots every 5 minutes.

Tara is super excited to go back to school full time. Weird, I know.

Tara thinks David Archuleta's single is pretty catchy and secretly loves it.

Tara hates rude people.

Tara is not going to vote for Obama just because it's "different" and "cool". In fact, she still doesn't know who she is going to vote for.

Tara is in desperate need of new clothes.

Tara knows that only one person can really understand what she is going through but often times wishes more people could.

Tara thinks Reggie Bush may be one of the most beautiful people alive. And hates that he's dating Kim Kardashian. Yuck.

Tara feels like she needs a to take a "mental health month".

Tara hopes the BYU football team makes it to a BCS bowl and she can go to it.

8/8/08

Here are 8 things I'd rather be doing right now than sitting here at work.

4 Things I could easily be doing:
1. Sleeping in my bed.
2. On a plane to anywhere outside of Utah. Okay, I could more easily be driving out of Utah but whatev.
3. Watching a sappy chick flick.
4. Laying on my bed watching Law and Order: SVU (my new favorite).

4 things that I can fantasize about doing:
1. Getting ready to go to the Opening Ceremonies in Beijing.
2. Laying out at the beach in Hawaii.
3. Riding Splash Mountain at Disneyland.
4. Enjoying myself on an African Safari.

You won't believe what I'm about to say...

If you know me at all or have read this blog you will know that I LOVE this guy:

If you know me at all, have read this blog, or have even brought up NBA basketball to me in a passing conversation, you will know that I absolutely depise this guy:

And now they are teammates:

Which means that I'm now being forced to cheer for Kobe. It pains me to say it, let alone do it, but I guess it's a must. Of course I want Deron to do well. And if that means throwing alleyoops to Kobe-freaking-Bryant, then I guess I have to do it.

I don't like it at all. Not one bit.

Blogging

I'm not very good at it, let's be honest. I haven't updated in over a month and I'm not sure I really have anything exciting to blog about now. I wonder if I should just give it up. I probably won't, but I need some ideas on what is blogworthy as it seems nothing in my life is right now. I'm getting a new camera some time this week so hopefully I can start taking lots of pictures of all the exciting things (nothing) going on in my life!

The Good Life

I went to the Kanye West concert the other night. So much fun. Ran into Zac Efron there. We had a moment. He was with his High School Musical posse though so it didn't last too long. They're all so cute...not. Kanye was great. Rihanna performed as well and I now have a girl-crush on her. I also formed a new love for Lupe Fiasco. So worth the money.

I am totally loving this song right now.

2 of my faves together...Chris Martin and Kanye!

My Summer Can Officially Begin

I love this show. It makes my summer every year and will hopefully continue to do that this year. Who am I kidding? I have no doubt that it will do just that!

The Plan

One of my biggest pet peeves is when hot guys date ugly girls. Okay, that's a lie. It doesn't usually affect me, unless I have a crush on them. Then it's hella annoying. Especially if I would be more than willing to give up all my standards and date them too, even though they could very well be a big, fat loser. Case and point: Quincy and LaNasty*. Quincy is an attractve guy who I could almost guarantee get any girl in Provo. He was a well known athlete around here and has now moved on to bigger and better things, aka, more money. His girlfriend, LaNasty, is exactly how you would picture someone with the nickname "LaNasty". She's fugly. And I'm not just saying that. I admit that sometimes I've said that about girls who really aren't that ugly and basically said it to make myself feel better. But that is not the case. LaNasty is not cute. Not even a little bit. One time I even saw her wearing hot pink tapered jeans. Really?? That has never been acceptable. Not even in the 80's! So this is The Plan - I need to break that shiz up! Seriously. The question is how. Any ideas/suggestions/info(if you've figured out who Quincy and LaNasty are) would be very much appreciated. The world would be a much prettier/better place. Trust me.

PS. I know I'm a creep.



*Names have been changed.

Textually Active

Texting is not my favorite thing to do. I do it though, probably more than I should. It seems that I have all these texting relationships with people that I'm not that great of friends with, although we have met and hung out (none of them are strange creeps I've never met). A few of them don't live near me and it makes me wonder if they even lived in the same state, what sort of friendship/relationship we would have. As in, would we even hang out? Would we even talk to each other? Would we maybe even like each other? It's just weird and I need to stop the texting. Verizon knows it is costing me a fortune.

No Guts, No Glory.

I don't think anyone fully understands my love for this man.

As in it really is too bad he has kids because the whole marriage thing wouldn't be enough to stop me! Okay, that's a joke. Kindof.

My New Favorite Show

This show is basically amazing. Deion is ridiculous but I love it. And their kids are so cute, it's not even funny. Watch it.

Goodness

In February of 2006 I attended the best concert I've ever been to. My sister and I drove down to Las Vegas with my dad to see Coldplay at the MGM Grand. We had a great time and Chris Martin and co. put on a fantastic show. I've been waiting and waiting for Coldplay to go on another U.S. Tour and the other day I opened up my Coldplay E-newsletter to see that they had announced their U.S. Tour dates. I got all excited and figured I'd be able to see them in Vegas again. As I scrolled through the tour dates, I came to the very last one and literally rejoiced out loud when I saw that they are stopping in Salt Lake City! It's their last tour date on November 22. I'm so freakin' excited! Coldplay just makes me happy. I'm going to try and see them in Vegas as well and make a weekend out of that trip since it falls on the weekend after my birthday. Hopefully it all works out!!

Here's a few pics from when Kelli and I saw them a few years ago:

Kelli and I anxiously waiting for the concert to start.

Chris Martin, doin' his thang. ;)

Kelli and I after the concert.

My Church-Going Thoughts

So yesterday was my first day back in a real single's ward since Fall 2006. It was interesting, to say the least. Here are some of my thoughts on the whole experience:

• 9 AM church sucks.
• Having church in a place where the BYU Men's Volleyball team plays is weird.
• For some reason my ward felt the need to split the Relief Society and Elder's Quorum into 2 different groups. I don't get it and I don't like it. Our lesson in RS was about unity and including people and I'm not sure having 2 separate groups builds any sort of unity in a ward.
• I've always felt that Sacrament meeting was supposed to be, you know, sort of a reverent meeting. But there's something about being in the room with mirrors covering the walls, with sayings like "Practice like Champions" hanging behind the Bishop, and where the Cougarettes practice that seems to kind of take the spirit away.
• There's a certain BYU football player in my ward who's pretty great. Ask me in about 3 weeks and I'll probably be able to inform you that we're dating. I always knew I was meant to be an NFL wife.
• One of my pet peeves is when people crack/smack/pop/or chew gum like a cow. In fact, I could probably dedicate an entire blog to how much it bugs me. If you're gonna chew gum in church, that's fine, but don't chew it so loudly or pop bubbles during the Sacrament!
• Yesterday was the first time I've attended a single's ward for the first time and not cared one bit about looking good/impressing anyone. It was a great feeling. It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn so there was hardly any time to care.
• We were able to make some friends in the ward who like the Jazz and we've already planned a party to watch the game Wednesday night.
• Rugby players love Mele. :)
• There was a cute boy in my ward and I could maybe see myself liking him. That's a huge MAYBE. Two major problems though: He doesn't watch TV and he's short.

Overall, I have a good feeling about this ward. I want to get more involved and go to activities this time around because I've never really done that with any of the single's wards I've been in. I think that would be good for me. Here's to me waking up in time to actually make it there for the whole summer!

I Suck

So I never blogged about my trip to Key West back in February. Oopsie. I really wanted to and have basically written up about 75% of the post already, I just never got around to finishing it so it's just sitting in my list of posts, waiting for me to click that "Publish Post" button. Just so you know, I fully plan on posting it, even though it's been close to 3 months since I got home. It was a good time and I want to be able to remember it!

Movin' Out

So yesterday I moved into my new apartment. I'm not completely moved in but I'm getting there. I hate the whole moving process. I haven't done it since I moved to and from Key West last year when I had to pack everything into 2 suitcases. That was hard! I met my roommates and luckily they seem pretty cool. We haven't really had a conversation longer than 2 minutes though so we'll see. We've all just been unpacking though so we've all basically been confined to our rooms. We each have our own room so that is going to be way nice. I need some decorations for my room though. It's so bare! I even whipped out the old posters that Kristine and I purchased during our good times as roommates. I don't know that I'll put any of them up, but take a look at my poll and tell me which one you think I should put up, if I decide to do so! My personal choice is Adam Brody (the poster I stole from my klepto roommate a few years ago) because he's a dream boat!

Summa Lovin'

So if you've noticed my new poll then you've probably gathered that I'm moving out on Monday. I am so freakin' excited, it's not even funny. I've been living at home ever since I got back from Key West and seriously, it's time. Time to leave my room downstairs and never come back. Well, that's the plan anyway. We'll see how it goes. I've been thinking of some plans/goals for myself to do this summer. Here are a few of them:

• Eat lots and lots of Otter Pops.
• Catch up on LOST. I'm SO behind.
• Lay out 3 times a week.
• Go on lots of road trips where I only spend $20 total.
• Get in shape for the possible trip to Havasupai (Still not a sure thing though, Tawn)
• Take lots and lots of pictures.
• Watch a lot of TV.
• July 11th = Thunder from Down Under.
• Sleep a lot.
• Learn how to cook at least one thing.
• Relive my childhood memories at Disneyland.
• Go to sleep before midnight at least once a week. HA!
• SYTYCD.
• See option 3 on my poll.

Clearly, my plans have AWESOME written all over them and clearly, my priorities are in the right spot. My summer is going to be frickin' awesome. And to think that this is just a smidgen of what I have planned for myself! If anyone is interested in joining me for ANY of these activities, please, don't hesitate to call. ;)

Just another Saturday night in Provo...

One thing that some of my friends and I like to do is go out dancing. Something that I think is normal for single, 21 year old girls to enjoy doing(yeah, I get that this is Provo and we should probably be trying to find a husband or something but I'm over that whole idea). The dancing scene in Provo isn't the greatest but we always try to make it the best we can. Personally, I just enjoy dancing with my girlfriends and don't really care to go and impress any of the guys there. Frankly, I hope that my future husband isn't spending his Saturday nights on Center Street in Provo, dancing with girls who wear clothes that they shouldn't. So needless to say, I'm not going with the idea in my head that I'm going to meet my future spouse or anything, I'm just going for a good time. Last night, we thought about going, but decided against it once we got there because we didn't want to pay for something we knew probably wouldn't be worth the money anyway. So we just chilled outside for a bit talking to some friends that we saw there. At one point, some sort of fight broke out inside and all the "security guards" had to attend to that. So a few of us just walked inside the door to see what was going on/try and get in without having to pay. In all honesty, I don't think we would have stayed longer than 5 minutes anyway but we didn't even have the chance to decide that ourselves before one of the security guards on some power trip randomly yelled specifically at us to "GET OUT!!!". I just pretended like I didn't see him and walked out the door. No later than 3 minutes after that the security guard hunted us down in the crowd of people outside and yelled at us again. This time he told us to "NEVER COME BACK!" Huh? I was so confused. I didn't understand why he'd felt the need to search us out and yell at us, 3 girls who hadn't gone out of our way to do anything to him. When he'd "asked" us to leave the building, we'd left without even a word yet he still felt like he needed to scream at us to never come back again. I mean, really? Really?? Well guess what. We weren't planning on coming back anyway cuz they are LAME. If it wasn't for 16 year old hookers and a bunch of creeps you wouldn't have your minimum wage paying job anyway! Thanks to Mele, we were able to get that message across to at least some of the people there, even if the ugly security guard didn't hear it all. :)